


Plaiting and Braiding and all such confoundedness

by Sketch_A_Bow



Series: Hobbit Hair Tales [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-12 23:40:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2128815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sketch_A_Bow/pseuds/Sketch_A_Bow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is Dwarven tradition to braid a marriage bead into the hair of the betrothed, but dwarven braiding techniques have never been set against the likes of hobbit hair. If anyone can make it work though, it's the King Under the Mountain, right? Not to mention he has the aid of his steadfast companions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Plaiting and Braiding and all such confoundedness

**Author's Note:**

> This is written as a stand alone one-shot, but it can be read as a continuation of the Shorn timeline. I just didn't want to attempt to develop the relationship from dark guilty butthurt Thorin to loving husband domestic goo Thorin.
> 
> I just wanna talk about the hair, man.
> 
> And yes, I used inspiration from the struggles I have with braiding my own hair, which isn't even that curly btw! *sigh* if I didn't love my hair so much and looked better with a pixie cut, lemme tell ya, it would all be gone.

          “So you have to put how many braids into my hair?”

 

     Thorin tried not to roll his eyes at the tone Bella questioned him in. A stranger would think she was preparing for lashings.

 

          “Only two, for now. One will hold the bead of marriage, my personal family crest,” He tried to keep the pride out of his voice, “And the other will hold the lineage bead, which denotes your status as a hobbit of the Shire, and a Baggins.”

 

     He wasn’t sure why she kept asking, he had presented the marriage bead to her upon his proposal, and she herself had designed her lineage bead, since there were to references to stand upon with designs that would suit for Shire heritage.

 

     Bella side-eyed him suspiciously as he raised a comb to her hair to section it, and he held in a sigh. “What are you looking at me like that for?”

 

          “I’m not so sure you’re going to get very far with that comb. It looks rather… delicate.”

 

     Thorin snorted. “Nonsense. This is my personal comb, it is more that sturdy enough.”

 

 

     When the comb snapped off a third tooth in her hair, Thorin wondered why the world hated him so. The smug expression his wife was sporting did little to help the situation, though he would be damned to admit out loud that he was anywhere near wrong. Growling, he finally tossed the ruined comb to the stone floor, delicately plucking the teeth out of Bella’s tangles and instead attacking it directly with his hands.

 

 

     Two hours later saw Thorin with some measure of success. He had separated out a sufficient section for braiding, and Bella was half asleep with her head propped on a hand, flipping through a book casually.

 

     Thorin entered a special hell though when he tried to start braiding the hair into any design. Dwarven braids were delicate, intricate things, taking full advantage of the straight, lustrous nature of dwarf hair.

 

     Bella’s hair was entirely something else though. Even brushed out repeatedly, it still retained a stubbornly wicked curl, and his attempts at even the simplest patterns still resulted in stray hairs escaping all over the place.

 

     Letting out a deep growl of frustration, Thorin startled Bella awake, her head almost falling off her hand.  In aborted sentences, he instructed  her to hold the section he had already worked free, refusing to lose ground. Once he was sure she would abide, he stalked swiftly out of the room. It was most certainly not a fleeing retreat, in any way.

 

 

 

     The first familiar face he stumbled upon was that of Bofur, who had been cheerfully returning to his rooms for an afternoon nap. Feeling frustrated and embarrassed, Thorin explained the trouble he was having, and was grateful when the miner listened attentively and refrained from laughing at him. He winked at the distressed king, and told him he might have just the thing for it. Putting as much gratitude into a nod as he could, Thorin continued on towards the main dining hall.

 

     He sought out Dori next, rationalizing that the tailor would have the most knowledge on such issues. He too listened to the matter with a solicitous air, and agreed to come to Thorin’s quarters directly, as soon as he gathered some supplies. Unfortunately, two mischevious Royal heirs had overheard the conversation as well, and invited themselves to the Room of Predicament, all too eager to help.

 

 

 

     And that is how, close to assuming she had been abandoned, Bella was instead assaulted by half the Company at once, all of them holding various jars and bottles and babbling about her hair. Part of her wished she had just snuck off and dealt with it herself, but she also knew how much this meant to Thorin, and she wanted to do things right. They just didn’t know what they were dealing with though…

 

 

     When everyone was finally organized, the tally read as such:

                Bofur had brought a jar of the soft wax he used on his mustache and braids, to help them hold their shape and increase the longevity of his work. A logically sound choice for taming hobbit hair.

                Dori had been of a similar mindset, but had instead brought a bottle of the hair oil he used to keep his silver mane perfectly flawless. He assured it would work on even the wildest of hair.

                Fili and Kili had brought… well, nothing really, except enthusiasm and loud suggestions.

 

 

     After a bit of clamoring, they decided to try the hair oil first, the consensus being that the wax might make the braid a bit too stiff for Bella’s naturally free-flowing hairstyle. Thorin applied the viscous liquid generously to his palms before working it through the section. Dismay was the result, as the oil seemed to give the previously unruly hair a life of its own. Individuals strands stuck out more than ever, and Thorin’s slicked fingers worked in vain to accomplish the delicate braid-work.

 

     While Thorin had been hard at it failing though, Fili had shown surprising efficiency, and managed to separate out an equal section of hair on the other side of Bella’s head, and this one they attacked with the wax. Most of a prodigiously sized jar later, and they had produced a section of hair that was braidable. The only problem was its obvious stiffness, cumbersome weight, and the fact that the entire section stuck away from Bella’s head at an awkward angle.

 

     As one, the assembled dwarves sighed, a varying amount of weariness displayed on each face. Kili, by far the cheeriest of the group, suggested they maybe asked Bombur for some lard to try and slick her hair with. Bella valiantly tried to hold off a grimace as she stiffly rose from the chair where she had been sequestered for the better part of the day. Raising up on her tiptoes, she gave Thorin a peck on the cheek.

 

          “I know you gave it your all, but I think its time to call it quits for the day. I’ll go wash this lot out, and I’ll see you for dinner, hmm?”

 

     She could tell it almost physically pained him to know that the diligently sectioned hair would be worked back into the mass, but he did eventually acquiesce, Following Dori numbly to borrow his shower for a wash-up prior to dinner. Giggling quietly, Bella quickly gathered herself off to the bath.

 

 

 

     When Bella showed up halfway through dinner, with two immaculately even and balanced braids gracing either side of her head, Thorin didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Maybe both, with some choice Khuzdul thrown in. His betrothed gave him a shit-eating grin from across the table, but he refrained from questioning her until they were in their private chambers.

 

     He didn’t even have to say anything. Bella just smirked from where she was sprawled on the bed, and stated bluntly, “It helps if its wet.” She then went on to elaborate that while hobbit locks were always difficult, they were slightly less so fresh out of the bath. It was easier to stretch the curl out then, and once it was braided, it would dry to the shape and not scatter. She admitted though to using some of Dori’s hair oil, as he had left the bottle on the table, and said it helped a great deal.

 

     “Well why didn’t you just say so when we started this whole affair?”

 

     “Because I enjoy having my hair messed with,” Bella answered sweetly, ignoring her husband’s huff of fond exasperation. “Besides, you seemed so insistent on doing it yourself, I figured I should at least let you try. And I just tied the ends off, so you can still put the beads in yourself.”

 

     He did have to smile at his wife’s thoughtfulness, and he joined her on the bed to do just that.

 

          “Well, that is one task accomplished at last, though I think my arms are rather too tired to do anything else at all tonight. I don’t even think I can muster the strength to hold my sweet hobbit wife, as weary as I am.” Thorin delivered this declaration with a straight face, one which Bella completely overlooked as she dared him to follow through.

 

     They both stared each other down until Bella’s resolved crumbled. “Oh, come here you,” she growled softly, pulling her beloved into bed with her.

 

 

 


End file.
